New project, new thing to stress about, make lists about and be consumed by. 

I got into the market. I’ll be there every Sunday in August playing shopkeeper, prancing about in an apron, drinking tea and giggling. 

For more info on F&S head over to felixandswitch.wordpress.com

Oh wait… That’s just my nail polish.

Random notes from Chez Bonheur (soon to be renamed The House Of Cake)

❤ Two heaters on and electric blankets warming. WINTER I LOVE YOU even though I had so many heaters on and electrical equipment running that I shorted out my power-board while ironing and watching DVDs

❤ I just worked out how to have all my emails directed into my computer’s mail client. AMAZING! It even makes a wooshing noise when mail’s sent off. It satisfies the deepest and most childish parts of myself

❤ Reading. When I was doing my degree I did nothing but read. Problem was, I didn’t do it for enjoyment. Seriously, I only just started to read and buy books again, it’s amazing. You can’t expect to create or be insightful in a vacuum. You need to have the raw ingredients to process in order to produce something original.

Things I’ve been reading:

• Troublesome Words: Bill Bryson
• Frankie Magazine, piles of it in fact. 
• Lessons of a Lipstick Queen: Poppy King
• The Culture Club: Craig Schuftan- If you are interested in music, art or simply interesting ideas, then you have to read this book! A discussion on how modern art influenced modern music and back again.   

❤ I love setting up my new accounting system. For a three pronged business such as the one I’m developing I went high-tech. I bought a teal blue notebook from OfficeWorks, divided it into three sections (Writing, Craft, & Web), ruled one side of each page from income, and ruled the other for expenses, decorated with pink text and stickers, and admired it! Now I’m gunning to get some income to record in it! Bring on the New Financial Year!

❤ I love my city. I love my city so much that I made these:

From left to right: Eureka Tower soft toy, My Ear, Melbourne Central Batman building soft toy and the Eureka Tower pin-cushion 'cushion'.

Eureka Tower- Melbourne

Melbourne Central- The Batman Building

Part of my GRAND PLAN, the one I mentioned last post, is to have a weekly market stall, and sell things that I design and make. This is so that I can cover every aspect of my creative self, and have a variety of income sources, hopefully making poverty and living on  noodles and broccoli much less likely.

These are part of a collection that takes the doily concept from the Linden exhibitions and expand on it. Expands until it totally a different creature altogether. I declare that it shall be grand and amazing. Look out of me freezing my arse off at a market near you soon. I’ll be bringing a variety of nanna-style Melbourne-love-trophies of various sizes and prices points, and …lollies!

I’ve got so many great ideas for this project. Stay tuned!

An accurate representation of the inside of my brain. 

For the past three weeks or so I have been mulling over an open notebook trying -TRYING- to come up with something to write about. And for a moment there it seemed as though the words weren’t coming because I had nothing to say.

Well clearly that’s not true. I could talk the leg off a table. My malady seems to be restricted to the written word. Talk: I’m full of it.

What we seem to be dealing with here is a rather massive case of writer’s block. Symptoms include: the inability to take a good idea beyond the first blush; jealousy; procrastination and a variety of aversion tactics; and visions of all your dreams being for naught. Conveniently these symptoms started to manifest themselves right about the time I actually started to set foot into ‘make-your-dreams-become-reality-and-not-just-remain-dreams’ land. MYDBRANJRD for short.

I mentioned a few months back that I was seeking gainful employment of the officey type. Then a few months after that I mentioned that I was getting nowhere. Cue: work experience. After a couple of months helping out with the admin side of my current job I had a realization. I had wanted an office job because I was sick of working nights and weekend, so I tried 9-5. And I hated it. HATED IT. 

So if I hated working nights and weekend, but I hated working 9-5, what was left?

I made the decision then that I would do anything I could in order to make a living using my creativity. I would sew, take photos, write copy, research, write articles, set up websites, design, write books, craft, markets, ANYTHING. Sort of a creative odd-jobber. With an overall plan to be an Arts writer.

I’m happiest when I have a day spread out in front of me and several projects to be tackled, when I’m in the library with a stack of books and a topic to research, or when I’m taking an idea and working out how to make it happen. I want to feed myself and pay my rent from the proceeds of what is, to me, the most natural activity in the world.

The problem now is with the writing part of my plan. The most important part. The moment I started to plan articles, to look at submission guidelines and to imagine the acceptance letters that would come flooding in, that was when I lost it.

None of my ideas seem good enough, I think my writing’s not good enough, and there’s a high-pitched squealing burst that runs through my body at the thought of sending off an article. That anxiety has blocked my ideas process. It stops me from even starting to write anything, and it has spilled over here too. Hence no posties. 

The minute I place some importance and value on my work I was no longer able to do it.

Self-sabotage strikes again.

I’m telling you all of this for three reasons

• I need tips for dealing with creative anxiety and creativity blocks.
• I need advice and encouragement
• I needed to break the ice over my big freeze. 

I want my plan to become a reality. I want to support myself*, mostly, by doing things I love, and by doing them on my terms. Of course there were going to be hurdles, but I don’t honestly think I expected them to come from within.

How do you deal with creative blocks, fears and the problems of starting?

* I feel that it must be noted that in my plan I am keeping a part-time job, three days a week, in order to keep my apartment and continue living by myself. I don’t know why you need to know that, but I just feel that it’s important. Cool?

In the lead up to my major career change (more on that at a later date) I’ve been struggling to find some sort of guide, step-by-step instruction booklet, or map that leads the shy girl to the land of super-mega-outgoing-hustler type person. But so far, not so good. Self promotion seems to be at once a basic concept, but also quite bewildering. The world of social networking has resulted in information on this topic being all Trees when I’d rather it be Forest. Don’t tell me how to use Twitter and Facebook effectively, I just want to know the secrets of those people who get out there and find people to help them or create projects. I want to be a Real Hustler. I found the insight I needed in the last place I expected, the memoirs of a Regency courtesan named Harriette Wilson.

Know what you want to gain from the promotion-a one night stand or long-term couple status

For courtesans like Harriette the main aim of the game was to find a protector- a long term lover and patron. But that didn’t preclude them from seeking out one-off liaisons with grateful and generous gentlemen who may not have the means for an ongoing relationship, but were willing to shower the courtesan with money and present for a short time only. These two sources of business hang out in different circles necessitating different tactics for sourcing.

Before you begin spamming the Twitter feeds of all and sundry, you first have to decide what you want to achieve out of your efforts. Do you want one-off sales/visits/clients/johns, or do you want to build on-going relationships? Is your goal notoriety, or building a great and long-lasting reputation? Knowing what you want to achieve will shape the way you go about your self promoting, and narrow the field in which you expend your efforts when you move on to tip #2.

Find your audience and then parade shamelessly while looking over your fan in a coy manner

The courtesans marketing tactics? Parties, promenading and presentation. This is all about being seen by the right people and in the right light. The sort of relationship they were looking to form (a cheap and quick roll in the hay or long-term couple-dom) informed how they approached the three Ps. The majority of a courtesan’s self promotion involved beautiful dresses,the appearance of propriety, carriages-rides and walks in parks, all in the aim of being seen by the right people. So go and get yourself a carriage and a footman… um…

Ultimately self-promotion is about being seen and drawing attention to yourself in the right way, and for the right people- potential clients/customers/mentors etc. That can be done is a variety of ways, not all of them appropriate. Now that you know what you want to achieve, you can tailor your attention-seeking to that purpose. Do you want high paying clients? Then tailor your brand and products towards that market, and get yourself/your name/your brand some attention. 

Offer value in some form even if it’s a witty turn-of-phrase and a sassy attitude

I supped once in her society. . . She was far from beautiful, but a smart, saucy girl, with good eyes and dark hair, and the manners of a wild schoolboy.  

 Sir Walter Scott in 1825, on Harriette Wilson credit

A courtesan could parade about, dress as finely as any society lady and go to all the right parties and still wouldn’t make a living if she had nothing to offer. Brains, sexual skills and beauty being the three requirements, though as the quote above suggests, beauty was negotiable. 

Just like our Harriette you need something to offer in order to successfully promote. Otherwise, what the hell are you doing? 

Figure out what you want to achieve, what your goals for your business are. This will help you to know who you need to be seen by. Find out who they are (market research can come in to play here) where you can contact or connect with them in some way. Scheme ways to get your name noticed, or be seen by them (in real life, professionally, and online), get involved in projects that connect with this group or demographic, flash an ankle, and demonstrate your value. Repeat.

One final lesson from Harriette- blackmail your lovers when all else fails. 

Wait.

Don’t do that.

Get her memoirs here

If you want more of the the good stuff- Alex Frazen wrote two AMAZING articles chock full of self-promotion and networking advice for Yes & Yes- here & here 

The Taking of Christ 

Out of all the artists I’ve been researching lately Caravaggio is one of the only artists whose misdeeds are considered relevent to his works. I’ve been scouring biographies for tales of sex, crime and violence and apart from Cellini (who we’ll save for another time) and Caravaggio, the crimes of other artist’s, their twisted personalities and assorted acts of violence are very rarely mentioned. If the artist produces ‘dark’ and haunting work, and they happen to be violent then the two things are considered to be linked. But, as in the case of Bernini, if the works of the artist are pretty and light and attractive then their violent streaks aren’t even mentioned.

Uncool writers of art history, uncool.

David with the Head of Goliath. 1606.

Back to Caravaggio. The man had a life. A crazy crime filled and rumor fueled life that ended as dramatically as it was lived.

Rap Sheet: He was arrested over 12 times between 1600 and 1606. There were fights, concealed weapons, insults, aggression and violence. He murdered a man over tennis in 1607, went on the run ending up in Malta. Then he insulted some Knights of Malta, and went on the run again this time to Sicily.

In 1610 The Pope pardoned Caravaggio allowing him to finally return to Rome. Tragically on his way back to home and freedom after being on the lam for years Tuscan authorities arrested him in a case in a case of mistaken identity. THEN upon his release he discovered that all his paintings and possessions were gone (perhaps they made it to Rome) and finally he caught a mysterious illness. 

Destitute, alone, feverish and delusional Caravaggio collapsed on the beach at Porto Ercole. He died in hospital a few days later at the age of 38.

 credit

Or house. Or artist’s loft. Or palatial estate. 

Whatever

The absolute number one, most important, best thing ever that you can do to get that apartment is to get your application in first.

The absolute number one way to get your application in first? Have your forms all filled out, copies of ID attached and ready to roll before the inspection. Hand it to the agent when you first see the place. Within five minutes preferably. Ok, maybe 11. But you’ve usually only got 15 to decide. So CHOP CHOP.

Before going to an inspection visit the real estate agent’s website and download a copy of their application forms and fill that sucker in. As soon as you start looking for a new rental put together a folder containing all of your references’ contact details, photocopies of the kind of ID they usually want (utility bills with your name and address on them, driver’s license, passports, key pass cards, that sort of thing) and all the personal data you need for filling out application forms. The aim here is speed and having all your deets and attachments ready to go makes this processes much faster. If there’re a few of you all applying together put all everyone’s info in the one file so that whoever is off to look at the house that day has everything they need. 

Sometimes the agents wont have the applications on their websites (fools!). If this is the case go see the house/apartment/warehouse sub-division carrying your super-folder-of-important-application-information, then if you decide to apply, grab the form from the guy/girl in the suit standing in the lounge, fill it in while standing in the kitchen (I hope it’s nice!), attach required ID (which you have copies of in your folder) and march up to that agent with a smug look on your face -this is not optional- before thrusting the completed application right in their face. RIGHT IN THEIR FACE. Ok, perhaps don’t be that aggressive. (Maybe at this point, if you think they might have more places you might like, ask them for a couple of extra forms, you can photocopy them so that next time you’ll have your application ready when you walk in the door. DON’T THANK ME. I know I’m awesome) 

Time is money. The agent isn’t going to hunt through all the applications to find the tenant who is JUST RIGHT. Get your application in quickly (preferably first) and provided the landlord doesn’t decide to give your dream home to his nephew who’s moving to the city to do vetinary studies, you’re already in with a 35-50%  chance rather than one in ten. Getting in first makes your life, and their job easier.

My other hints?

Wear great shoes. Compliment their taste in business wear/earrings/pens. Bake cookies. 

Maybe that’s just me.

credit

Anyway miss-readings aside I’ve been to a few job interviews this year. Each one gets easier and easier and I get more and more confidant, but I’m actually a pretty shy person and the pre-interview nerves never go away. I get nervous in situations when I meet strangers who are going to judge me, but I think that’s a pretty standard reaction. So this is what I do:

❤ Be Prepared. As every Scout worth his salt knows preperation is key. Get your outfit sorted and ironed the night before, pack your bag, print off a copy of the job ad and the resume and cover letter you applied with (ideally you’ll have saved these when you applied. Saving them with the name of the place or job description makes it easier to find again.) Have some questions written down to ask the interviewer, as well as some answers to common interview questions. Visualise the interview. See yourself being witty, charming and thoughtful. See yourself kicking interview ass!

❤ But Not Too Prepared. Just as with exams there comes a point when studying more starts to make you feel stressed rather than cool, calm, and collected. Make sure you’ve got everything you need, think about it and write as many lists as you need to, obsess and obsess and do whatever you have to do but as soon as you feel comfortable and ready  STOP. Continuing to prepare will make you feel like the issue is too big, you’re not ready, you can’t do it etc. You can’t know exactly what they’ll ask, what they’ll be like or what sort of personality they’re looking for, all you can do is get to the point where you feel prepared and then go about your normal life. This is just an hour out of your life. Relax. It’s not such a big deal.  

❤ Be Yourself. Seriously. You’ll have to work with these people if you’re successful, so you might as well be yourself from the beginning. Dress in a sharp, snappy, clean, neat, & appropriate version of what you’re most confidant in. Minimal skin is prob still a good rule though. Wearing something that makes you feel sassy and confidant, well, makes you behave sassy and confidant. For some peeps a three piece suit gives them sass and cojones to spare. For me it’s black blazer, cream lace skirt, black stockings, high-high heels and lashings of eye-liner. 

❤ Be Early. Not only will you ensure that you get there in time in case something goes awry (like, I don’t know, missing a connecting bus and having to walk across an entire suburb in your new 4 inch heels) but you’ll have time to sit down, have a coffee and listen to your ass-kicking playlist. Which brings me to…

❤ Music. Put on some brag-a-licous hip-hop, super angry metal or anything that gets you in an ass-kicking frame of mind. For me I like Brother Ali’s Bad Motherfucker, Pt II on repeat and up as high as my ears can stand. While listening to this song I was strutting down the street like I was going to smash some shit up. (Yes, I look real tough with my shiny shoes and glasses.I see you doubters doubting, I see you haters hating) I also like to mouth the words, but I will turn my head away so you wont see me do it. Ahem. The aim of this tip is to get pumped up, hyped up, psyched up, and ready to go in swinging. Use whatever you have in your ipod to get the vibe. 

❤ Fake It. Yes, in conjunction with my advice to ‘be yourself’ I also advise faking it. Confidance that is. You’re heading into a situation where you are being judged against an unknown critera. No matter how hard you have prepared the night before, nerves are inevitable. Nervousness dulls your personality and tends to not leave a favorable impression even though everyone is bundles of nerves, sweat and sick stomachs in these types of situations. Act confident.  Fake it ’til you make it. Once you start acting a certain way, it’s usually only a short while until it becomes true!

So basically all you have to do is: be prepared, but don’t over do it, be yourself, but fake confidence, arrive early, have a coffee (or hot chocolate with whipped cream and a choc-chip cookie) and get psyched by listening to some fighting tunes. 

It works for me. My wide smile hides my shaking hands and in spite of my massive nerves, I manage to be both charming and coherent.

Or so I like to tell myself.

Have you got any interview hints, tips or stories to share?

Glasses are sexy. Need proof? Hot nerds ahoy!

These two pics were found via girls with glasses, a holy celebration of Lisa Loeb and girls with glasses in general (but mostly Lisa Loeb). Also blue and purple hair is sexy, so is pink, hmm, coloured hair is sexy. But that’s another post.

Sarah Wilson learns to work her (dorky) quirk and half the commenters over at Yes and Yes love their glasses too (the other half are spectacle-haters, but hey, each to their own).

get it on a t-shirt

Excuse me, no, don’t argue. Listen to the little rectangle with legs. Glasses makes you sexy. PROOF.

Now I’m off to spend my free time in the library reading big books about dead people, books that were probably written by dead people (Zombie Author Apocolypse: coming soon to a cinema near you!) and living up to stereotypes. Someone’s gotta do it, right?

Are you one of the happily spectacled brethren or are a a contact-wearing glasses-hater?  Speak up!

• Get on a tram and just ride it until you get somewhere new. Then get off
• Go visit friends at their work
• Do the dishes and like it
• Make rainbow food. Savoury or sweet, your call
• Cuddle
• Plan your free morning, then absent-mindedly run out of time
• Take a tram to the end of the line and back again, staring out the window and have a big ol’ thinking session
• Waste it. Guilt free